


So... Your Body Is Changing

by somalester



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkwardness, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Humor, Millenial Humor, Poor Peter, Sex Education, Steve's PSA Videos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 06:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16057070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somalester/pseuds/somalester
Summary: This was not happening.Peter Parker refused to admit that this was happening.





	So... Your Body Is Changing

This was _not_ happening.

Peter Parker refused to admit that this was happening.

But no matter how steadfastly he refused, he could still hear Captain America’s voice coming from the shitty school tv.

“So.”

Peter often wondered what it had taken for Steve to be let back into the country as a free man. Now he was pretty sure this had been part of the punishment. There was no way anyone would do this out of their own free will.

“Your body is changing.”

Really, if god would let the ground swallow Peter once in his life, this would be the preferred moment.

“This is a very difficult time for every student, so you should all listen well to what I and your teacher are going to tell you.”

Peter risked a glance at his fellow classmates. Most were looking tired or just plain bored. Apparently, none of them were going through Peter’s range of emotions. Which was understandable, since was the only one who would be driving up to the compound for a personal training session with Captain America after school.

A few agonizing minutes later, Ned poked him in the ribs.

Peter looked at him warily, while Captain America was explaining erections in the background.

“Why did nobody stop him?” Ned whispered, stunned.

Peter raised his shoulders helplessly.

Suddenly, Ned’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “Oh my god. They don’t know, do they?”

Peter blinked, and then it suddenly clicked in his brain.

Ned was right. The Avengers didn’t know about this. There was no way Clint would’ve passed on the opportunity to tease him.

Which meant that he, Peter Parker, would have to pretend he did not just go through this.

Meanwhile - “But if you do have sex, it is very important to remember contraceptives.”

“I want to die,” Peter whispered under his breath.

 

* * *

 

It was the first day in his life that Ned told him he wasn’t at all jealous of Peter getting to train with Captain America.

Wonder why.

The ride up to the compound proved to be quite a challenge, as with every passing mile, the urge to either break into hysterical laughter or tell Happy everything. (None of which was a very appealing prospect.) And worst of all, that was far from the most difficult part of the weekend.

When he walked up to the Compound with his backpack sling over his shoulder, he sent a prayer to whoever was listening that he wouldn’t have to face the Captain just yet.

Which was probably why god decided to have him run into Steve before he even entered the building.

“Peter!” He called, a genuine smile on his face.

And on a normal day, he’d be over the moon at that - Captain America, smiling at him - but right now, he’d rather turn around and hide.

He managed a weak “Hello.” (Not suspicious at all, well done Parker.)

“You’re staying over for the weekend again, right?” Steve looked at him, woefully unsuspecting, and all Peter could think about was that just a few hours ago that same man had told him to use condoms.

“Uh, yeah. I am.”

“Good. I wanted to practice hand-to-hand combat with you, especially in situations where you’re at a disadvantage.”

And, yes, great, at least it would be under normal circumstances, when he only had his hero worship to deal with.

As it was, the second he opened his mouth again he lost all control of what was coming out of it.

“Great, that’s, that’s very, uh, helpful, but -”

\- as it turned out, making up excuses to get out of training sessions with Captain America wasn’t Peter’s strongest suit -

“I actually have a lot of homework, and May will kill me if I don’t do it. And - and she’s definitely going to find out because Tony would tell her. So, I can’t. Yeah.”

Steve was staring at him. Peter refused to meet his eyes.

For a very uncomfortable few seconds, neither of them said a word.

Peter’s skin was practically crawling with the need to get away and hide in one of the air vents until Steve had forgotten this entire conversation.

“I gotta go,” he finally mumbled, turned around and did just that, Steve’s eyes following him through the entire front yard.

 

* * *

 

Much to Peter’s disappointment, Tony had blocked the entrances to the air vents because Clint kept getting lost in them, so he had to restrict himself to hiding in his room.

Which worked for about three hours, and then Tony came sauntering through his door with a confused look on his face.

“Steve thinks you’re mad at him,” he announced. “And your face looks like Bambi, so I think you can understand that I’m wondering what happened.”

Peter groaned and flopped back onto his bed. Maybe if he pushed his head into the pillows hard enough, God would finally give in and make him disappear.

“I hate my life,” he muttered when it was apparent that that wouldn’t happen.

“Peter?” Tony sounded dumbfounded.

Peter breathed in deeply and gave in to his fate. It wasn’t like he was able to hide it any longer anyway.

“I can’t look at him anymore.”

“Who, Steve?” Tony asked, even more confused now. “I know you have a crush on him but that’s taking it a bit far.”

Peter’s first instinct was to deny it like he’d done a hundred times before, but in the face of his newest tragedy, it didn't seem worth it anymore, and his motivation gave up on him right in the middle of the sentence. “I don’t - urgh.”

“Okay, now you’re freaking me out,” Tony declared. “What’s going on?”

Peter sighed. “It’s - well, we watch these Captain America PSA’s in school, you know?”

It’s far from the worst part of the story, but Tony already threw his hands up. “Okay, hold up. What?”

“Just, short videos that the teachers play for us, mostly in PE and history, or when we get detention, but today -”

 _Nope_ , forget it. He couldn't make himself say it.

Luckily for him, Tony only had to take one look at his beet-red face to start laughing.

“Tell me he didn’t tell you to buy condoms,” Tony wheezed and Peter could only wallow in his pitiful silence.

Here went his carefully crafted reputation of being a somewhat respectable superhero.

But his mentor just grinned. “Don’t worry, Pete. Once I’ve got all the video evidence Steve will be way more embarrassed than you.”


End file.
